Posted on 4 Comments

The Fairytales of Life

Being an aspie, an empath and an introvert, I think way too much about life. I can’t help it. I am fascinated with the meaning of life, why people do the things they do, say the things they say, and ultimately my place in this mad place called life. There is not one day in my life, that I don’t sit and wonder about some aspect of life in general. I don’t believe in reincarnation, but I sure feel like an old soul. I think if I have to speak everything that comes into my mind on a daily basis, I will shock most people. It is never quiet in my mind. Never. My thoughts are like a freight train that won’t stop for anything. It just keeps going. No wonder I have trouble switching off to sleep.

Today I am on the fairytales we tell to young children. They all start with a magic romance, and end with: “And they lived happily ever after”. You know, that is a big fat lie right there. Children believe what we tell them. They don’t yet have the life experience to differentiate between reality and fairytales. Each young girl throws herself head over heels into a romance, but it seldom, if ever end with the happily after. The fairy tales don’t prepare our kids for working hard at a commitment called marriage. Marriage doesn’t last forever until two people are committed and dedicated. And many are not.

Some of the fairytales even include entire families. A mother and father with children, who just all live happily ever after. No effort! It just happens! Rubbish and poppycock. Children get 50% DNA from each parent. But still, not child will have the same DNA as his/her siblings. And often times, siblings don’t like each other. They have different personalities, different characteristics, different likes and dislikes. Hell, sometimes even parents don’t like their children and vice versa. I know I am saying things most people would never say. They might think it, but they won’t say it. That silence isn’t helping society at all.

I love my mother. But there have been many times in my life that I really didn’t like her. I love my children, but sometimes, I don’t like them. And I know they sometimes don’t like me either. Why should they? They are adults. I am now just another adult in their world. Yes, I am their mother, and for that they have to honour me, but they don’t have to like or love me. I can’t force it. Nobody can force love.

There is a lot of wisdom in this next paragraph that might sound completely crazy to you.

If people don’t like you, whether they are direct family, friends, acquaintances or whatever, they are within their right! They don’t have to like you. And there is nothing you can do about it. Absolutely nothing. What they say about you behind your back, is also none of your business. 

Take my advice today. Let go. Let go of the people you feel you HAVE to love, even though you don’t even like them. Let go of those that don’t like you. Let go of those that do not, can not, and will never understand your heart. They were not meant to complete your life journey with you. They were just a fleeting life encounter that was meant to teach you something. Nothing more, nothing less. Let go of those who never contact you, and when you contact them, you get a one word reply. Let go of those who stress you up when you are in their company. Why waste time with people who do not make you happy?

Even if they are close family. Let go. Peace and joy is much more important. This is YOUR life. Do what makes YOU happy. Surround yourself with people YOU want to have around you.

Let go. I have.

Liked it? Take a second to support Hilda Steyn on Patreon!

4 thoughts on “The Fairytales of Life

  1. No. It doesn’t sound crazy! Or if it is, we can be crazy together!! I turn 50 this year. As I look at the future, I see it as the time for “me”. Interactions (especially with family) will occur if it’s what “I” want and will be meaningful to me. Not that I want to live selfishly. But I’m no longer willing to invest energy into trying to “make” things work. I’ve done that in first half of life. Moving on now!!

  2. I have always said it is non of my business what people say about me. But it is our business what we say about others. I have also taught my children this. Your blogs are insightful. Love your Facebook reminders to read them.

  3. Hilda, I agree whole-heartedly with what you say in your article. I am estranged from my oldest daughter who decided that because I think differently to her and she doesn’t approve of my beliefs, that she will shun me. We haven’t spoken in over 4 years and I last saw her in June 2011! I have made peace with that as it is her choice, and she’s 46. I also speak my mind now that I am older; but I am aware of the words I say and try to make sure that they aren’t hurtful or negative but still truthful. I am so glad I found your website – I downloaded an interweave pattern (but I didn’t realise that it is a South African website about my passion, crochet! What a blessing. I am looking forward to being a member of your group.

  4. Such true words Hilda.
    I have an adult daughter and I have said to her on occasions when she has been a total dickhead about something – you know that I will always love you but right now I don’t like you very much at all. She has told me that when I have said that to her – she has remembered it and thought about it afterwards and realised that what she did wasn’t necessarily the best way to handle the situation. I keep learning news things and hope that I can help others with what I have learned !!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.